Evening walks have become an exercise in inefficiency.

Q: How can one walk for nearly an hour and basically go nowhere?

A: Bring a toddler.

I've learned that there are really big sticks, big sticks, and play sticks. Depending on the mood of the toddler no stick is an appropriate stick, ever.

Rocks have similar categories, but for some reason always end up back home.

Acorns, flowers, bugs, birds, dirt, people, dogs, cats, other toddlers, squirrels/ chipmunks, trash, and anything shiny all have powers of attraction that override any type of command the adult can give, yell, plead, or offer.

When you bring a toddler on a walk, can you really call it a walk anymore? Truly, the toddler isn't fully participating in the activity of walking. He/she/it is getting pushed in a stroller, but let's be honest here. The new strollers are more like chariots or analog unmotorized Cadillacs. How can a toddler NOT enjoy these walks in their comfy 'mobile rooms with a view'? I'll tell you how they could not enjoy the walks:

You turned onto the wrong street.